I Knew It!

So it turns out that, within this whole Anna Nicole Smith debacle that has been going on lately, the father of her baby has been revealed. And I think that someone owes me money cause I called this one years ago.

Anna Nicole's creepy lawyer, Howard Stern, is the baby daddy. I win.

Kind of a big deal

I don't know if you know this about me but I'm huge in Japan.

Not really but, I think you get the idea. Check out this website for some more of my inane musings on life and pop culture.

Thanks!

Premiere's galore!

It's finally here: the week that the summer re-runs come to an end and the new episodes return. It's Premiere Week!

The fall season of television is always a great way to figure out if you are going to become a hermit during the cold winter months or if you will be a part of the festive goings-on of the holiday season. I'm going to call it early this year and say: hermitage all the way.

First, there are some great shows coming back this season: The Office, Grey's Anatomy, America's Next Top Model...I could go on. But what really inspires me this year is that the new shows don't seem so terrible. "The Class" on CBS looks promising, mainly because it isn't another form of CSI. NBC is coming back strong this year with "Heroes," "Kidnapped," and "Studio 60" (which is probably my favorite of the whole bunch). Should be a good year.

I'm intrigued by the new CW network and will be interested to see what they have up their sleeves. I won't lie and say that I'm not a sucker for a good teen dramedy (who isnt?!) but, will combining the shows of UPN (a traditionally more...."urban" network) with those of the WB (known for its verbose teenagers who tackle issues from jealousy to vampires) ensure a success? Guess we'll see.

Good luck to all the new shows and I'll see you all in person in May, after season finales.

This Just In: Ashlee Simpson to Horrify Londoners

Is this really necessary?

Ashlee Simpson isn't an actress. Nor is she a spectacularly talented singer. So imagine my surprise when I found out that she would be performing in the London cast of "Chicago." It's a well-known fact that people who are playing in the West End, or Broadway, should have a modicum of talent. Sadly, due to declining sales, the Theatre industry is whoring itself out to the less-famous sisters of actual celebrities. First Haylie Duff is on Broadway and now Ashlee (i HATE that she spells her name that way) in the West End. All I can say is: ick.

An Open Letter to Lindsay Lohan

Dear Lindsay,

Hey! What's up!? Listen, buddy- there have been lots of things going on with you lately and I feel that it is my duty, as your best friend that you have yet to meet, to tell you what the deal is. I'm sure you're too coked up to realize but you are well on your way towards ruining this stellar career you've been building since the age of 5. Don't become another washed up, Tara Reid-esque, Hollywood burnout because I KNOW you have talent left in you...somewhere.

First, lets talk about the fact that you have turned into a 45 year old woman with emphysema. I mean, your voice? It's really getting bad. Stop with the smoking...although who am I to talk, right? (lol, omg!) Also, there have been a lot of gross pics of you lately...pics in which you look like a 6 year old girl (and I'm not talking about your youthful face), so put on some underwear before you step off a boat or out of a car. It's not very lady-like to flash the world with your ladybits.

Quit it with the serial dating of complete douchebags. They won't make you happy like Wilmar did. His talents are now being broadcast to the world through the genius of "YO' Momma," and no one can compete with that. I know it's hard but, take it one day at a time and you can come out on top! Maybe signing on to make "The Parent Trap 2," (perhaps this time a bit more autobiographical like your stellar video for "Confessions of a Broken Heart," in which your father, played by Dennis Quaid once again, becomes angry and abusive and starts to verbally abuse the twins and finally gets thrown into jail for money laundering!) might inspire a turn in the right direction? These are just some ideas to get the ball rolling...don't feel obligated to option that plotline.

Anyway LiLo, you've had a good run so far. I mean, you're 20(ish) and you've already hosted SNL more than once, you've had some stellar movies, and you are constantly the center of everyone's attention. All I'm saying is- take it down a notch. Maybe cool it with the crazy. As your besty, I'm just looking out for you. That's all I've ever really cared about.

Peace and Hugs,
Ash :)

Right Ade

As I was waiting on line at Rite Aid (and yes, as a New Yorker I say "on line," not "in line," so shut up) and something delicious caught my eyes. I don't know about any of you, all 4 loyal readers, but I love Entenmann's treats. They are spectacular and should be celebrated more often. So imagine my surprise when I saw this sign attached the boxes of mini treats:




Yes. That says "ENTEBNANN'S." Now, Entenmann's might be tough to spell out, I'll give you that, Rite Aid but, I will not stand for sheer stupidity. Just look at the boxes you are attaching this super savings sign onto and perhaps you will discover that, ALAS! You have misspelled the name of the distributor of delicious, sweet treats. Also, you spelled "varieties" incorrectly. There is only one "a" in the word and it's at the beginning.

In closing, please be kind enough to utilize spell check OR ask a friend for a quick proofreading session before you tag up the items, incompetent Rite Aid workers.

One can only hope

That this is the beginning of the end